Day 4 / work , self doubt , money .

 In the last blog I had two choices first is to work all night and second to just sleep , And I smartly choose the third way , I planned to take a quick power nap and then I'll continue the work , perfect ? . So I slept and woke up after 7 hours , yes an ideal person . In hurry I quickly opened phone and started working , After an hour or two I decided to ask someone to help me out with this project and one of my artist friends instantly agreed , so we somehow managed to finished the work but I didn't felt satisfying with the work so I texted the client that " Hey it's not working , sorry for wasting your time " and after few minutes that person blocked me , that was understandable but I  realized that how I'm loosing my clients and savings , coz I'm not having regular project , and this thing is affecting me as an independent self-employed artist . This was not the case before , it's been few months I'm having ups and downs mentally , let me explain my situation with an example , you obviously watched spiderman movies right ?! Let's take about spiderman 2 in which Peter temporarily losses his powers due to emotional and mental issues and I'm at the same point of life right now . I'm not considering myself spiderman or a superhero but for me art is a superpower. But when I see my wallet I feel I have to figure a way out to sustain myself . I tried couple of platforms like Buy me a coffee but u know how it works 

A lot of time I felt why I'm doing all this , even I can't buy things I really like but after that deep thinking I gathered myself together and went to my friend's place , chill for a while. Then came home and started preparing for the digital art class which was supposed to be at 4:30 pm but I caught up with some work , so the class started at 5 pm. Overall it was a nice and sweet class , I talked about equipments like smartphone, iPad ,pen tablet , stylus and mainly how to play with shadows and sunlight and someone asked whether I know about anatomy , I don't actually know or studied anatomy but I'll and then explain them in next class , that how we all can learn right !? 

Sorry I don't have a dilemma for this blog. I started writing today's blog last night but I don't know when my eyes closed and fell asleep  maybe that was a way of my body to tell me OK you can take rest now .

See you tomorrow .